2012上海春季高考英语作文评析和范文

时间:2012-01-04 16:41:00   来源:上海市延安中开云kaiyun(中国)教师 陆佳伟     [字体: ]

挖掘立意,咬文嚼词

——为2012年上海秋季高考英语作文加油


作者

上海市延安中开云kaiyun(中国)教师  陆佳伟

牛津大开云kaiyun(中国)应用语言开云kaiyun(中国)硕士


2012年上海春季高考英语已经悄然结束,笔者特地原创一篇范文为2012年参加高考的开云kaiyun(中国)生提供一个参考。


本次考试的作文题目如下:

描述你在开云kaiyun(中国)校的一次午餐,具体要求如下:

  详细描述用餐的情况

  简要表述你对这次午餐的感受


这是一篇简单却需要挖掘的文章,因为如果只是描述用餐情况,显然缺乏深度,夸夸其谈,流于表面。开云kaiyun(中国)生拿到这样的题目需要仔细考虑用餐背后的东西。比较容易想到的话题是食物浪费、用餐卫生、餐桌礼仪等。在创作范文中,笔者另辟蹊径,通过大多数同龄人用餐时的匆忙来村托“我”的悠然自得,凸显出在紧张的高中开云kaiyun(中国)生生涯中,作者能够留有一片心灵净土,通过饮食来调节情绪,更好地面对挑战,表现出乐观的人生态度。此文结构简单,文笔清新,语言精准,并运用了高中阶段常见的语法结构,不失为一个很好的作文模板,供开云kaiyun(中国)生借鉴。


The instant the bell indicating the end of the last class rang, out of the classroom poured all students but one.

Unlike my peers, I was in no hurry to make a run for the school canteen, to rush through lunch and to return to the classroom for homework. I arrived at the canteen when a massive queue had formed. Waiting for my turn patiently, I smelled the aroma of the appetizing food. Greasy as some dishes might be, the wide range of food prepared by the school was superior in nutritional value to that found elsewhere.

The typical schedule of a high-schooler is extraordinarily hectic and thus lunch break is a rare time when overworked students can wind down and enjoy the pleasure provided by the flavorful food. I make it a point to pamper my taste buds by savoring every little bit of taste in food. What I usually like to do over lunch is have a mindless conversation with a couple of students who have also learnt to smell the roses along the bone-breaking journey through high school. We rounded off our lunch with a dessert, refreshed and satisfied.

Come to think of it, it is not the food but my attitude towards life that affords me pleasure and empowers me in facing up to various challenges.

(219 words)


语法解构

现在分词作定语

the bell indicating the end of the last class rang

倒装句

(1)out of the classroom poured all students but one

(2)Greasy as some dishes might be

不定式

I was in no hurry to make a run for the school canteen

状语从句

I arrived at the canteen when a massive queue had formed.

现在分词作状语

Waiting for my turn patiently,

过去分词作状语

the wide range of food prepared by the school was superior

代词用法

(1)the wide range of food prepared by the school was superior in nutritional value to that found elsewhere.

(2)enjoy the pleasure provided by the flavorful food

并列句

The typical schedule of a high-schooler is extraordinarily hectic and thus lunch break is a rare time

定语从句

(1)thus lunch break is a rare time when overworked students can wind down

(2)a couple of students who have also learnt to smell the roses

主语从句

What I usually like to do over lunch is have a mindless conversation

过去分词作主语补足语

We rounded off our lunch with a dessert, refreshed and satisfied.

强调句

it is not the food but my attitude towards life that affords me pleasure


词汇解构

pour out

冲出

rush through

草草了事

a massive queue

排长龙

greasy

油腻的

aroma

香味

extraordinarily

特别地

hectic

忙碌

flavorful

美味的

wind down

休息、放松

pamper my taste buds

宠爱我的味蕾

smell the roses

[习语] 享受生活

bone-breaking

累人的

empower

给人动力